After about 10 minutes of watching “Dick Clark’s Rockin New Years Eve” television show last night a few things became almost immediately obvious to me. It still sucks. Because there is little or nothing else to watch for those of us that don’t venture out on the last night of the year, it’s still finds it’s way to the airwaves every year. It’s a redundant collection of cold party-people in Times Square and lip syncing pop stars of questionable merit and skill. Then again, I stumbled across “Parking Wars” not long ago–since when did watching schmucks get and give parking tickets become entertainment? “Next Stop: Armageddon!” So really, who am I to bad mouth Mr. Clark’s efforts. But that’s where we segue into Dick’s status as a broadcaster.
Suffice to say, he’s a class act, a professional and worthy of his Hall of Fame status. However since being struck down (but not out) with a stroke, he clearly needs to hang up his microphone and stick to his lucrative role as a producer. At the risk of appearing callous, watching and hearing him is simply tragic and uncomfortable. Slurred speech doesn’t play well on TV and instead of ringing in the New Year with a toast and a kiss, I watch, wince and squirm in my chair as Mr. Clark employs enthusiastic delivery in an effort to overcome his handicap. But it doesn’t work. For the same reason a musician stops touring when he can no longer hit a note, Dick Clark needs to put his New Years Eve ear muffs and over-sized parka into storage and call it a day. He’s earned the retirement…enjoy it.
All that being said, I made a quick surf to FOX and the Robbie Knevil motorcycle jump for what was probably the most tasteless and anti-climactic event of the season. Hosted by Mark Thompson (who didn’t have a stroke but is as equally as difficult to watch speaking; ever heard of the expression “…a face for radio”) the 10 second event was a complete yawner. Clearly the days of high flying cycle jumps are now officially over. Even his crew seemed a bit bored with the results and from what I could see and hear, there was virtually no crowd to watch the jump. But the real “FOX-Grade” lapse in taste was the pre-jump overview that outlined Robbie’s potential hazards. Complete with digitally created footage, Thompson gave us 4-6 ways Knevil could be either critically injured or better yet, killed by the landing in the cauldron of fire he was launching himself over. It’s not rocket science to figure out that a crash would make for a great headline on 1/1/09 but to outline those tragic scenarios in great detail and hopeful anticipation (as if viewers were to too stupid to imagine what crash landing on asphalt might do to a body; Robbie’s old man gave us more than a few practical application lessons on that topic) as a prelude to the gag was despicable. Get a job Robbie.